The mother-in-law wiped the table with old underwear triggered a battle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, uncovered the hidden pain that can not be solved
Ching’s mother-in-law, who was born in the 1950s and 1960s, complains: “We are the most miserable generation, being angry with our mother-in-law when we are young, and our daughter-in-law when we are old!”Young daughters-in-law complained, “My mother-in-law is so weird, manipulative, annoying, bossy and manipulative that she can’t get away from it!”The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal problem, which cannot be distinguished from right and wrong. It is just different positions, different views and different perspectives.As times change, so do people’s ideas. Many things that were considered “should” in the past are not “should” in the eyes of young people, such as mother-in-law’s living habits, values, mother-in-law’s offside management, etc. Thus, there are endless battles between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.Case 1: Three Generations under one Roof Mother-in-law Xu was born in the 1950s. Her family was well off. She went to high school at that time, but due to various changes, she could not continue her studies.Arrogant character xu mother-in-law because her husband is weak, home has been her master, gradually developed a strong and domineer character.Granny Xu’s son and daughter have married and are doing well.Granny Xu and her husband have a house in the county town. Although it is an old house, they live comfortably.The son is doing well in his career and has settled down in a big city.After her son got married, Xu planned to go to the city to live with him. However, xu temporarily gave up the idea because his son was newly married and wanted to spend the time together. Three years later, his daughter-in-law became pregnant, and Xu and her husband packed up and moved to her son’s house, where they lived for four years.Conflicts continue, temporarily separated from the four years to get along with the daughter-in-law, although the daughter-in-law has a lot of dissatisfaction with the mother-in-law Xu, but still endure, and did not fight.Xu thrifty like vegetarian, daughter-in-law after work to buy their own food back to cook, xu said children can not eat Huaishan, daughter-in-law turned the book to find out the effect of eating Huaishan, persuade Xu mother-in-law.Daughter-in-law in the month, xu mother-in-law did not take care of, although the daughter-in-law in the mind but did not declare in the mouth, daughter-in-law is also a strong person, but because of the old and young, xu mother-in-law or tolerance.People get along with each other, one party is patient, one party is aggressive, patient to a certain extent, the patient will not be willing to endure, the relationship ended in rupture.The relationship between xu mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has changed with daughter-in-law is no longer willing to tolerate, daughter-in-law would rather divorce, but also to change the mode of getting along.In order to save her son’s marriage, Xu followed her daughter’s advice and went back to her hometown.Old underwear wipe table, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war broke out apart for six years, peace with each other, the previous unhappiness also slowly dissipated.As Xu grew older, she wanted to live with her son more and more. After his daughter-in-law gave birth to their second child, Xu came to live with her son again by taking care of her grandson.However, after only half a year in the house, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a big quarrel. The reason was that Xu wiped the table with her old underwear, which she did not wear, and was just seen by her daughter-in-law coming home from work.Xu thinks her daughter-in-law is too dainty. Although they are old underwear, she used them after washing them and drying them, not without washing them. Moreover, she only wiped the table, and did not do other purposes.Xu mother-in-law strong used to, can not stand the daughter-in-law’s accusations, two people so you a I a quarrel, completely.The daughter-in-law took the two children to sleep in a hotel that night. The next day, she found an apartment to rent and moved there. A few days later, Xu’s son also packed up his clothes and moved there, leaving xu and his wife to live by themselves.Let the mother-in-law is more uncomfortable, the Chinese New Year, daughter-in-law took the child back home for Chinese New Year, son also with the past, keep xu mother-in-law husband and wife have a cold New Year, xu mother-in-law feel their son is white raise, sigh their own life.How to get along with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live peacefully, some people say that living apart is the best.However, living separately is only a temporary solution and not a long-term solution. When you are older, you will eventually have to live together with your younger generation and be taken care of by your children.Some people say, ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law, the first ten years, mother-in-law as far as possible not to embarrass their daughter-in-law, after ten years can rely on.That might be a good idea.However, the heart is very unpredictable, many mothers-in-law pay everything, to the end also failed to get the understanding of their daughter-in-law is also a lot of people in.Perhaps because of this, many mothers-in-law are reluctant to pay too much at the beginning and dare not pay too much attention to their daughters-in-law.Everyone has his own ideas and is an independent soul. We should not ask others to do exactly what we want. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the same.Once asked around a few female friends, what kind of her mother-in-law can be called a good mother-in-law, get the answer to a very innovative, a few female friends have said: willing to pay but whatever day is the best one of her mother-in-law, mother-in-law can not take care of confined, can not help with the children, don’t even give money can, as long as don’t exploited the son home, don’t give daughter-in-law manufacturing contradictions.The new generation of young people pursue freedom, do not like bondage, they pursue a comfortable life, like the quality of life, for the old generation of thrift and outdated ideas can not accept.Take the simplest example: many old people can’t accept diapers for children and think it’s too expensive. In the past, people raised a child with a few diapers.But young people are different. They pay attention to efficiency. They never want to complicate things that can be simplified.This is the collision of old and new ideas and the cause of the contradiction.Just like xu and her daughter-in-law, Xu sticks to her own habits and covetously hopes that her daughter-in-law can keep pace with her.As a matter of fact, old people can live with young people as long as they do not ask questions and turn a blind eye to everything. In short, they just eat what they have and leave everything else alone, even if their sons and daughters-in-law quarrel.Not crazy, not deaf, not a family man.In fact, this sentence is the most appropriate for the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law is too glass heart, and too greedy, will be everywhere to embarrass the daughter-in-law, as long as the mother-in-law let go, the relationship will be a lot of ease, comfortable big family, small family comfort.Mother-in-law Xu wants to live with her son no problem, however, the son’s home is the son and daughter-in-law, Mother-in-law Xu can enjoy the pension, but, cannot offside management of family affairs, life habits, as close as possible to young people, life is changing, ideas should also change.Xu mother-in-law caused today’s situation, she already is not shirk responsibility, life can be frugal, but can not be frugal to right and wrong, old underwear wipe table, whether young or old, surely the vast majority of people can not accept it.From Mother-in-law Xu, we can summarize several key points of getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.1, have the conditions to live, as far as possible from their own living, to understand the smell of far fragrance, their own children are the same.2, you can not give money, but try not to exploit the money of small families, this is very important.Ideas to change, do not raise the child, in front of the daughter-in-law, they really do not owe you anything.4. Respect the fact that the daughter-in-law is the new master.Two ears do not smell out of the window, peace of mind pension is the best old age.Relying on children is not the only way of life in old age, to accept from the mind.