Psychology: A person often has these 3 “bad” feelings, what is the root of the problem?
Many people are puzzled why it is difficult to regulate their emotions. In fact, our personality, habits and even cognition at the moment have an inseparable relationship with the original family.As the saying goes, a happy childhood cures a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood needs a lifetime to cure.Comes from a poor family “native”, tend to be more easy to feel lonely, and much harder to good coexist with people, this kind of people, will be more sensitive, difference of contempt for isolation and usually in childhood been harmed by different degrees neglected experience, and this kind of unconscious harm affects a person’s personality and life.If you find that people around you, or yourself, are constantly trying to explain away things that have happened or happened in the past, it is probably not simply that they are wronged, but that deep down they lack a certain sense of security.Justification is denial in disguise, which is the instinct of the self – defense mechanism.The act of denial is a self-protective act of rejecting unacceptable emotions.Because you may not be severely punished after explanation, may be able to get something expected, even from the parents “abandoned” because the Chinese parents in the parenting process is really easy to make a mistake in common fault, that is to reduce trouble graph save trouble, when children are not obedient will say the sentence “so mom and dad love you again. / don’t you” warnings,Adult threats and intimidation will eventually form a subconscious defense system.This character of finding reasons for oneself, no matter want to change, or feel troubled, want to find the root of change, may have to explore the original family of this person, his sensitivity is a kind of self-preservation for fear of being threatened.Self-esteem alternates with low self-esteem. Self-esteem is the protective mechanism of low self-esteem. A person with a strong low self-esteem is painful to face the real self, so he imagines a false self to protect his self-esteem through ego.People with low self-esteem will inexplicably belittle themselves because of a variety of self-perceived deficiencies, which is a kind of escape behavior. Most people with low self-esteem often have strong self-esteem and ambition, and their self-evaluation standards will be slightly higher. When in life, due to their own improper methods, or some irresistibly difficult factors,The other extreme comes from a low mood in which self-esteem is damaged and a sense of superiority is lost.Conceit is also a kind of self-preservation behavior, it is to use arrogant, arrogant way to warn people around him strong.In fact, these two types of people are extremely painful in their hearts, and they are using their virtual selves to fight against the perceived crisis.They also have no accurate knowledge of themselves and blindly use their own way to resist and examine all people and things that may be harmful to them.The cognitive method needs to treat others and ourselves dialectically and comprehensively through objective understanding.A child who lacks proper guidance and approval at an early age will choose a coping pattern as an adult that is acceptable to him or her.Always feel lonely loneliness is not lonely lonely, but the helplessness and hesitation in the heart.If you feel lonely even in the midst of the hustle and bustle, you must lack a warm home or childhood.Babies have an innate attachment to their parents, and how well a caregiver takes care of them can affect a person’s mental health.If an infant is well cared for and fulfilled, he or she will be able to develop an emotional connection with his or her parents or caregivers that will continue to nourish him or her, and the child will both enjoy that connection and rely on it.On the contrary, when the needs are not answered, or even the bridge is cut off, people will become fragile and uneasy. When the inner black hole cannot be filled, and the unknown cannot be controlled by themselves, loneliness will be uncontrollable. It has nothing to do with how many people are around, but a feeling of helplessness from deep inside.Parents have no choice, and the hurt and regret they have generated cannot be changed. Realizing the root of the problem requires us to face our own problems again and maintain a positive and correct attitude, so as to restart our life and move towards a healthy mental state.END article/emotional transfer station (author: Xiao Yu, psychological consultant, focus on the field of emotion), good at the restoration of love relationship, marriage conflicts and differences, as well as the original ecological family caused by the spiritual trauma healing.Lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressure, help the client to improve the skills of getting along with each other, retrieve their lover, manage their own relationships, and strive to become a happier person.